Saturday, 7 June 2008

Polish Day

There have been proposals recently that the UK rename one of its summer bank holidays 'Polish Day' in honour of the contribution of Poles to our nation from the Battle of Britain to the beer menu at Wetherspoons.
A Conservative MP from a Polish background has "introduced a bill in the House of Commons calling for workers to be given one day off a year to celebrate the contribution of Poles to the UK. [the MP dude] argues the holiday is necessary to counter 'an increase in violence towards Poles', which he blames in part on BBC coverage."

... says the BBC news site.

Now there's an interesting thought. I think Polish Day should fall on May 3rd - the constitutional holiday. This will bring about yet another day off in May, thus constituting another step towards the international goal to establish an entire month where nothing and nobody works.
Here are some suggestions for celebrations:

- All shops and traders close in accordance with the Lech Kaczyński rule. Everybody buys their booze from gas stations.
- Said gas stations immediately and mysteriously run out of change.
- All women over the age of 60 shall sharpen umbrellas and don berets in preparation for their yearly rampage.
- Girls will drink pints through a straw.
- It will be generally accepted that food tastes better the longer you leave it to stew in vinegar.
- Men will get the bill.
- For two days prior to the event, mysterious constructions, possibly including a stage, will be erected in main squares across the country. This will be accompanied by someone periodically and loudly testing the amplifier on his guitar. During the two days following the event, these constructions will be gradually removed. Everyone will say 'Did you see the concert?' but no-one will actually bother to go.
- A rash of small wooden huts will also appear. Piles of kiełbasa and fried potatoes will be served from some, and grilled oscypek with cranberry sauce from others. You will drink The Worst Mulled Wine In Christendom with the excuse that it tastes better outdoors.
- Everybody will suddenly be struck with the desire to drive to the mountains (for the UK, substitute 'the seaside' i.e. Blackpool, Bournemouth, Brighton and other gloomy places that begin with B) or to Babcia's house in the country. Roads will be jammed from here to John O'Groats and everyone will wish that their car CD player was working and/or they could tune into something other than Wiltshire FM on the westbound A303.

I think it's a good idea actually.

Long live Polish day! Niech żyje Polska!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

a British day in Poland should be fine too.

The million jobs in the UK helped a lot in the Polish economy. And Margareth Thatcher supported us in the early 90s against Germany and Russia.

pinolona said...

Great plan!

How about celebrating with a full tax rebate for Brits working in Poland??

baduin said...

I think Majchrowski has forgotten the most important element in his campaign to turn the Main Square in Cracow into a permanent village feast: a pole covered with soapsuds or fat and with a sausage and a bottle of vodka on top.

If you wish to import those event, don't forget the pole!