Marzenie

Wanted:

Lovely flat, one bedroom, day room, kitchen corner. Clean bathroom, no u-bend reflux.
Enough room for a (small) upright piano. Deaf neighbours preferred (upstairs, downstairs and on either side).

Flawless fast broadband internet and cable television in four languages.

Hot water in the mornings please, even if everyone else in the building is taking a shower at the same time.
Gas boiler should not be located directly above bath taps, nor should it be within range of the shower.

Preference will be shown for oven door which stays shut without a chair leaning against it and power points which do not produce sparks. Ideally no pigeons exist within two-mile radius.

Intoxicated early-morning strollers will lose voices while walking past building.

Kind acquaintance (with Y chromosome) will live nearby for help with shelves, spiders and the odd wistful evening.*

And there will be big windows with a view of the open sky, for staring.

All for under 900PLN bills included.

Any offers??


*Gosh this is getting sentimental. I'm starting to sound like a Pole.