Monday, 31 March 2008

Love

It's the first hot day of spring. Kraków, being quite a pretty city to stroll in, is full of couples holding hands and slobbering all over each other.

What they are neglecting to remember is that over the next five to ten years they'll both become fat, he'll start to lose hair while she starts to gain it, any desire to see each other naked will be totally extinguished, and they'll spend most of their time wondering how on earth to escape from the other's company.

Love is a delusion, caused by physical chemical changes in the body. We cling to it because we mistakenly believe that it will save us from dying alone.

It's all a cruel joke. I intend to re-train as a biochemist, invent an antidote, and empty it into the public water supply...

9 comments:

peixote said...

I find your cynicism very refreshing.

Anonymous said...

I find it funny, too.

BTW, there is an "antidote" .It is called "first day of rainy autumn"...

Darth Sida said...

Yes, George Lucas made a few movies about it. A scene from the script:

Star Wars
Construction site of Death Star (formerly known as Love Star). Work in progress: swarms of fero-men try to make the systems work: love emitters, memory enhancers, body surplus laser-cutters.
Shuttle arrives: enter Lord Wader.

Team Commander: Lord Wader, this is an unexpected pleasure. We are honored by your presence -
Darth Wader: You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander. I'm here to put my love on schedule.
TC: I assure you, Lord Wader. My fero-men are working as fast as they can.
Darth: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.
TC: I tell you, your love-productive organs will be operational as planned.
Darth: The Wife does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.
TC: But she asks the impossible! I need more fero-men!
Darth: Then perhaps you can tell her when she arrives.
TC: Your Wife's coming here?
Darth: That is correct, Commander. And, she is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.
TC: We shall double our efforts!
Darth: I hope so, Commander, for your sake. My Wife is not as forgiving (*) as I am.

(*) Pun intended? Ask Lucas.
Pam-pam-pam, pam pa'pam, pam pa'pam

pinolona said...

'Take your Jedi weapon! Use it! Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the luuurrrve side will be complete...'

Incidentally, Darth, between around 2000-2004, the University of St Andrews fencing team was trained by a coach who was the grand-pupil of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Anderson_(fencer). So anyone who might conceivably have taken part in that team over that period is... technically... Sith...

(paam paam pam pam p'pam pam p'pam)

Darth Sida said...

Cool! (To put it in ane auld American, yet aye-trustit way) Are you one? Which one's your favourite?

On the other than dexter hand, it's hard to imagine much of striking down when fencing?

W-wa Jeziorki said...

"The greatest thing
You will ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return"

Nat "King" Cole sang this, as did George Bensen, and I must say it still holds true today.

pinolona said...

Yeah, I tend to have trouble with the second bit...

mochafuled said...

I often wonder the same thing... will the love last and who will be the fat one or the wrinkled one...

I think the test of a good "love" match is to get thru the chemical phase and really be able to look at the person with all their faults and good points and see if it is a good match. Love is not a moment but a life long commitment to each other... very scary thing... and maybe why still I am single. I enjoy your cynicism too but wonder if there is a bit of hurt there.

Darth as always thanks for injected your Sith humor.., I have a picture to send you.

island1 said...

Darth: Mocha is going to send you a picture of his weapon… be afraid.