Monday, 8 February 2010


It strikes me that I am extraordinarily lucky. Firstly, to have been born and to be concious and thinking and existing at all. I mean - what are the chances of that?
Not only to have been born but to have been born in a country where there is solid infrastructure and relative wealth and freedom in a relatively well-off family in an area with decent state schools, before it became utterly impossible to get into one.
And however much I worry and complain that I am going to run out of work and out of money and be unable to pay the rent, so far everything has been fine. I am not living in a cardboard box. I - miraculously and by some incredible fluke that I still don't really understand - have a work situation which will continue to get better (unless I go deaf or get tinnitus or lose my voice completely or have a premature stroke or get permanent tonsillitis - oh my goodness the list is endless).
Come to think of it, the Student Loans company has been ominously quiet recently. And I haven't started saving for tax this year yet. Plus I have yet to get my full electricity bill for the year... so there's still time for everything to part en couilles.
I and my immediate family all seem to be more or less ok health-wise: I mean, any one of us could be hit by a bus or catch swine flu or be frazzled to a crisp in an electrical fire or discover a terrible underlying illness any day now but... all right, all right, this isn't helping.

What I mean is that there are very few places in the world where a woman can live alone and support herself and be free to go where she likes, drive what she likes (bank manager allowing - so in my case a pair of rollerblades) and not have to get married or be forced into domestic or sexual slavery.

I am very, very lucky.

I am terrified that one day it will all go horribly wrong...


student SGH said...

As long as you don't take for granted that nothing wrong will happen life won't stab you in the back.

The biggest misery usually comes out of the blue.

I've noticed many people have the same insights into the issue of luck.

Lydia said...

Yes, we are very lucky indeed. Even in Brussels I pass so many people who are suffering just because they lack the right visa or education. As a fellow immigrant, it seems to arbitrary that I am permitted to work, but they are not.

Michael Dembinski said...

Contemplating how lucky you are is a good and proven way of warding off ill-fortune.

You are the pinnacle of billions of successive generations of life, mating over the aeons to produce that miracle that is your consciousness.

There's potential there that is to be realised.

[Use the time you spend morning and evening thinking about how lucky you are to be well. May you stay that way!]

Anonymous said...

Appreciate your good fortune and take comfort in knowing that you have loved ones to help if bad fortune should come.

Paulina Wawrzyńczyk said...

I can't find your e-mail so I'm writing here. I invite you to my blog:
I added you to my blogroll.

pinolona said...

Thanks everyone!
Paulina, thanks for the link, will add you when I update my - now largely obsolete - blogroll... there are so many new discoveries in both Poland and Belgium that I've been putting it off for a long time...
Already checked you out from Micheal's blog (jeziorki) :)

Paulina Wawrzyńczyk said...