Friday, 16 January 2009

On why toned abs are impossible if you have a dog

Exercise no. 1: sit ups.

Lie down on floor, on back, with knees in air.

Enter dog.
Dog sees you on floor. 'What on earth are you doing down there?!'
Dog potters over, with a look of deep concern, presses its nose into your face and sniffs loudly.

Pull in stomach muscles and raise head and shoulders towards knees.

Dog looks disturbed, potters around in a circle, and places a worried paw on your arm.
You attempt to sit up but collapse in giggles.

Hold this position, drawing in abdominal muscles

With a deep sigh, dog slumps down beside you and leans its muzzle on your ribs.
More giggles, resulting in very sudden release of clenched abdominal muscles. Lie flat on back, panting.
Dog is disturbed, stands up, wags tail hopefully, looks worried, sniffs tail and potters around in a circle again.

Gently lower yourself back to lying down position.

Since you are already lying down, this is not easy.
Dog presses nose into your face again.
Jump to standing position and bend knees in fighting stance.

Dog - overexcited at the prospect of a playfight - pees on the carpet.

Throw in the towel and go to look for some kitchen roll.


expateek said...

P -- good work on the abs thing... You win a prize for trying to overcome difficulties!

Hope you didn't mind my quoting your comment on my blog. Dr. Owl is a bit harsh, but I appreciated your worrying suggestions!


pinolona said...

Hi! It's no problem at all - whoopee I'm famous on expateek's blog!!
I only just read it though cos I was away working (and for once not spending my whole time on the computer!)

ps I'm still worrying about your containers. I think I might hire out my worry for other people so they can relax about things - what do you think would be a good rate for an hour's worrying?!

Lewis Fields said...

Hi Pin...I'm glad to see you are keeping your spirits up. Are you planning on being in Warsaw/Poland - if so let me know I'd be happy to meet and I am sure you could get your career / abs moving again here.

take care


Lewis Fields said...

by the way I am sure you would get more comments if you moved to wordpress - I think you can even transfer your blog history's painful commenting on blogger

expateek said...

Hey, miss -- want to meet up the week of Feb 7-15? I'll be in London/Surrey then. I'm also inviting a couple of other internet people...

pinolona said...

Hi Colin: thanks, I'd be glad to meet up and my abs could definitely use some help (as could my career, come to think of it). I'm coming over in about a week... until the end of June, to be a smelly student again, hurrah!

I'd love to move to Wordpress cos that's where all the cool kids are but I'm scared of losing all my own posts - which were the good ones - as well as my ability to write ever again! (paranoia strikes)

ExP: aagh I'll be in Poland already!! I'm flying out on Monday. Rats. I'm not good at this whole being-in-the-same-country as other people thing...

expateek said...

Oh well, it was worth a shot! If you're interested in meeting up with the Polish bloggers, they've scheduled a meeting in Warsaw on Feb 7th -- probably just as my plane is taking off... I thought I'd be here a bit longer, but sadly, no. Email Island1 or Scatts for details... x e

scatts said...

I could tell you a very funny story about me "exercising" and a dog - but not here.

Read this while you're waiting -

Aha - inespay

wiedźma said...

hi pinolona ;) i can imagine how difficult is do anything with dog in the house since i have mine own little puppy ;p. do you will changing your blog address if so, could i have a new one,please? maybe i don`t comment you too offten (i`m to shy with my english;P) but still i`m reading your stories, and wish to do in the future :)good luck in wordpress;P

Island1 said...

Please ignore my confusion over your comment on Scatts' blogmeet post. NOW I see :)

pinolona said...

Hi Wiedzma! How are you?
Don't worry, I'm not changing to Wordpress yet. If I do, it'll be the account already exists because I had to open one to post on Polandian (
I'm a bit scared that if I move my posts over they'll all be deleted (and the old ones are the best ones).

AWwwwww you have a puppy! I miss my dog so much, she's so lovely...